oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
