Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
