im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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