So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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