Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
