so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The air taste purple.
Randomize
