no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
