We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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