So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
