Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
