Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
