uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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