I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
