Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
