And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Acid is not a monday night drug
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
