Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
