I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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