I'm jealous of your bromance
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize