plz talk dirty to me
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize