Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
