Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We are two peas in an std pod
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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