I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Sorry my hands just texted you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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