If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
