were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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