a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
