Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
