I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize