the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
