we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize