just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Enjoy the penises
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
