The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize