He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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