Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
