They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
