party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
