I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
