Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think your dad took our porno
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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