it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
