call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
