Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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