oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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