New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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