You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
