He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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