There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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