I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
