I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
