Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize