Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
