just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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