the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
