If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
