She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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