i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
