Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
