Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
