im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
