he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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