Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
