There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We need to get me chipped asap
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
