I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
